Relationship Climate and Social Exchange Theory

• Relationship Climate and Social Exchange Theory

                   

Relationship Climate 

Now relationships come in . A lot of formats when we say relationships , we don't necessarily mean just a romantic relationship . We can be in reference to a familial relationship , a best friend relationship or a coworker and boss relationship . Any of those would be applicable when talking about how relationships are managed and what their processes and maybe some of the things that can go wrong . One of the things that are common to all relationships , regardless of of type , is that of climate and intimacy .

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• Now , what do I mean when I say climate ? If you think of the word climate , especially in the current environment , we might think of climate change or how things adjust . Is the weather outside ? Warm , cold , windy ? Are there storms ? Are these storms intense ? Are they mild ? When we think of a climate for a relationship , that idea is very similar . So when we talk about climate , we mean basically and simply put , the emotional tone of a relationship .

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And in that case , where you're referencing any and all things that create a message or an overlay of a tone within that relationship , within it , we can see various levels of message confirmation . There are confirming messages within our communication within that relationship . And then there are disconfirming messages . And what do I mean by that ? There's a couple of different levels of fully confirming and disconfirming messages . Now , disconfirming messages are anything that takes away from the value of the relationship that might make the relationship feel like it's not worth as much .

 

So a couple of examples in here would be ambiguous responses to what you are communicating about . Constant interrupting , maybe irrelevant content because you feel like that is off topic and maybe not quite as connected to what you were originally having a discussion about impersonal responses . All of these are examples of disconfirming messages . Now , disconfirming messages are very universal in their level of value , which is to say that there is very low value in the relationship . If there there's a consistent amount of disconfirming messages now confirming messages sort of range a little bit more .

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We have what's called disagreeing and also confirming and they're very much a continuum within disagreeing messages . You often see things like aggressiveness or constant complaining or constant arguments , liveness on the negative side , meaning they like to pick a fight regularly . Confirming messages , on the other hand , are more recognition of the person , acknowledgement of their successes or who they are endorsing them both in a professional situation where the boss might endorse or support an employee , but also in a romantic relationship showing pride in your partner and such .

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So these can exist on a specific kind of continuum ranging from least valuing , which , as you'll see , are all disconfirming messages all the way up to the most valuing . So a relationship has high levels of value when it reaches that most valuing , confirming messages . So when there's lots of endorsements and acknowledgement and to a degree recognition , one recommended recommendation is for you to go out and take a week or two of a relationship and listen to the messages that come a lot .

How often is their aggressiveness or ambiguous messages or complaining or recognition or endorsement ? How often do those things happen and sort of look at where your relationship lies in terms of messages ? Are there lots of aggressive messages and hardly any , if at all ? Endorsement or acknowledgement ? So keep that in mind when you are considering whether or not a relationship has a positive confirming client . Climate . Now , one thing that connects to this idea of climate is that of a social exchange theory and in theory , the social exchange basically says that humans weigh the costs against benefits while forming relationships .

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So their their their main way of determining whether or not a relationship is viable is through the weighing of both costs and benefits . Now , the social exchange theory again takes a look at what you give to a relationship and what you take away from the person that you are in communication with . It's basically the balance between what we put into the relationship and what we get out of it . So in this situation , we also determine whether or not we feel that this relationship is something we deserve .

So in some cases , what you put into it might be much more than what somebody else would put into it , because you feel that you deserve certain types of relationships . And then finally , you also think about the chances of having a better relationship with someone else . So these are all basically criteria that you use when determining whether or not a relationship is high climate confirming worth continuing along valuable . So finally , when we look at social exchange theory , oftentimes people will say , all right , well , it's simple enough .

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I will put all the rewards in my relationship and I'll give them a value zero to 10 and I'll add those together . Then I'll take all the negatives , all of the costs in my relationship , and I'll give those negative numbers between zero and negative 10 , and then I'll put those together and I'll come up with a number . And that will be my solution , my outcome , whether or not I should stay in the relationship or continue along this path .

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And while that may be the case for some relationships , consider the idea of those that experience abuse within a relationship . Yet stay . That would definitely be , in many cases , higher levels of costs and lower levels of reward . So you'd end up with a negative outcome . So why stay ? Well , social exchange theory has a way to explain some of that . First of all , in many cases , they look at the comparison levels . So we use what we think is fair to determine whether or not we should stay within that relationship , even if it is highly negative .

So , again , back to what we said earlier . We determine what is a fair relationship . What say equality relationship ? What type of relationship do we deserve ? And in some cases , we may have a very negative self-esteem , a negative perception of ourselves .

And so we think , well , it's only fair that I have to deal with a very aggressive partner or a partner that's always complaining because I deserve to be complained about . I'm not Worthley . I'm not worth it . So in that case , a lower self-esteem might lead you to stay within a relationship where the outcome is highly negative . And , you know , it's different for each relationship . You may feel that way in a romantic relationship . But in a workplace relationship , you might be completely different .

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So your comparison level is going to change based on that type of relationship . Now , another thing that might come up and our final point here is the idea of comparison of alternatives . So even if you feel like , hey , I don't deserve to have this kind of relationship . So comparison levels isn't quite there . You may not see alternatives . So you may look at the relationship and say , you know , my significant other is rarely home and doesn't really hang out with me when he does have the time or when she does have the time .

Yet there is a steady situation . I don't have to work because he or she provides for us .

And I have all these children that I need to take care of . Let's say that's your situation . You may look around at potential alternatives and say to yourself , what are my alternatives ? I would have to do all of these other things . And I'm not even sure I could get to that point where I could be sufficient on my own or find a relationship where we're as financially stable or whatever it might be . So this is where you can see a lot of abusive relationships come in .

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You have a significant other who is abusive , physically , emotionally , mentally . Yet there are other parts of it that keep that partner from wanting to leave the relationship because they feel there aren't any other alternatives . All of this is an idea of how we assess and determine what the climate of a relationship truly is and how we might come to a decision about whether or not to maintain or pursue a relationship .

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