• how to develop self concept and self esteem? 

         

about your self concept

 

learn an important distinction betweenself-concept and self-esteem stay tuned so what is self-concept and what is selfesteem what's the difference why is that evenimportant well it's important to know who you arefor the most part and it's important to feel good about that knowing who youare and I don't mean knowing who you are in a very deep spiritual philosophicalsense you could go a lifetime exploring that and I suggest that you do but forwhat we're talking about we're 

• talking about your self-concept 

to put this intwo perspective yourself concept is like a map in NLP we say the map is not theterritory so the territory would be the vastness of all that you are which youcould you could go on and on explaining and there would be no end to that andthat's like the territory so say like the territory or the state of Californiathe actual ground and all the details that go into that we make up we can makea map which is doesn't have all those details but that's what makes it usefulit's easy to refer to it fits in your can fit in your back pocket or you canfind it on your iphone so that map is not the territory to completelyduplicate the territory you have to recreate atom by atom and then why wouldyou want to do that you already have the territory the map is for an easy reference so

•  yourself-concept is like that their

 

self-concept is not all that you are it's a quick reference to that andconcept meaning it's not something you can see and it's not something you canput in your pocket so it's actually not real it is based on the choices that youchoose to focus on in your memory of experience so in choosing to forgetfocus on certain things you have to ignore other things so for example say II think of my self as a very confident person what I'm choosing to do ischoosing to function from the experiences I've had where I was a veryconfident person of course i have experiences of not being confident but Ii choose to ignore some of those are nor the majority of them put it that way andbecause I focus on the majority of them and I believe my self to be a competentperson the tendency is is it for is for it to be

•  Self concept definition anyway self-fulfilling 

so i will morethan likely act like a competent person and do things in a competent way now ifI value competence and I behaved in a competent way that I 

experiencedself-esteem because I'm behaving

 my on the aligning my behavior and something ibelieve about myself with something I value so that's where the self-esteemcomes from your self-concept is really a generalization of the many ideas thatyou have about yourself so it's in a sense of bundle generalizations it's ageneralization of a bundle of

•  generalizations your self-esteem

 is how you feel about that so for you people who know logicallevels your evaluation of your self-concept as a higher logical levelso self-esteem is at a higher logical level because self-esteem is when I stepback and look at myself for a look at what I've done I look at what I believeabout myself and I'm happy about that so if I down in confidence and I behavein what I consider to be a competent 

way experience self-esteem if I do somethingthat's incompetent and I value confidence i'm gonna experience 

• lowerself-esteem this is really important 

when you whenyou begin to think about who we are as a culture and who I see and I'veexperienced myself so I am speaking from experience this idea of happiness and iwould think to my self I'm not happy so there must be something wrong and peoplego about this in different ways you could overeat you can / drink you go to a therapist and say I'm not happyand they give you a pill that just makes you feel happy for doing nothing that's not what 

happiness is happinessis the engagement of experiences

 in which things that you enjoy doing thatyou do they make you happy so the more than you engage in things that make youhappy the happier you're going to be if yourmajority of time spent doing things that don't make you happy like a job thatyou're unhappy with what do you think happens well you're not going to feel happyhappiness comes with experiencing the activity of something that makes youhappy so this is the same thing as yourself-concept the more you engage in their behaviors that you value thatcould be intelligence kindness 

1. confidence the higher self-esteem

  is going to be the problem is we often get this backwards we often try to go andself-esteem directly and that's like with affirmations we seek complimentsand that's what is actually known as other esteem we look for the approval ofothers it doesn't come from within it comes from outside US and it may give

•  usa temporary boost to our self-esteem 

but because we're always dependent onsomeone else to give it to us it can be taken away from us and there's also thatinsecurity of maybe it's not there I'm waiting for someone else to judge me togive me that Stevie Wonder is created this self concept model which is whatI'm basing all this on not and I'm have to say that I don't just know this fromhis book i know this from personal experience when you take your values andyou look at them as qualities within yourself so if I value joy if I value passion andI think of myself as a joyful passionate person and I behave in that way I'mgonna have really high self-esteem because these are really high values ofmine so knowing the difference between 

• self-concept and self-esteem make 

 

screating self-esteem within yourself easier because it's just reallyautomatic when you're just doing the things that you value you'reautomatically going to have higher self-esteem and it's really that simple and that plays into your overallwell-being and your overall happiness in life and your confidence people.  how to develop self concept and self esteem.